Annoying or Toxic?

A few years ago, I realized something important. There are people out there who are simply annoying -- and then there are others who are toxic.

How do we know the difference? Annoying people are just -- well, annoying. They get on our nerves and under our skin. But, in general, these folks are harmless.

And then there are the toxic ones, the people whom we should avoid like the plague, whenever possible. Let me give you a couple of examples of annoying versus toxic.

Andrea, your colleague, is annoying to you. She shares your office space and is a loud talker. Andrea also has a big, squeaky laugh that you gets under your skin.

At the same time, Andrea has a good heart. When you had a family emergency, she was happy to cover for you. She's a sweet person -- but loud!

Let's contrast her with Emily, another coworker. Emily talks behind people's backs and gossips. She has undermined you and made subtle, belittling comments at meetings. Emily's main focus is Emily -- and she doesn't care who she steps over while getting what she wants.

Think of the various people in your life who bug you. Are they annoying or toxic? (Of course, toxic people are annoying but they go way beyond that.)

If annoying, generally we have to deal with it. With Andrea it may be good to have a heart-to-heart talk and gently ask her to be mindful of her loud voice. Another possibility would be to see if you can change offices.

With Emily, though, stay away! Confronting her could be toxic to your health -- and your work life. If you can, change departments or jobs. And, in the meantime, avoid her, if you can.