The Therapy Trance

Lately, I've been looking at an online forum around therapy. In it, clients ask questions and therapists give advice. Frankly, I have found many of the posts to be troubling and, even more so, the therapists' advice..

Most of the questions are quite benign: someone asking what is CBT, or another inquiring how to find a therapist in a rural setting. But some of the posts are straight out of an X-rated movie, where the client is lusting after therapists who are as old as their parents or even their grandparents.

More than one client is confiding a deep "erotic transference" towards the therapist. We're not talking about a casual, momentary attraction, which can be understandable in any social relationship.

Instead, the client is describing in graphic detail, her or her fantasies, what the person does in the middle of the night with the fantasies, and, in some cases, a plan to seduce the therapist. And almost every therapist on the forum says that this is good; that the transference mechanism is really working; and, yes, go ahead and tell the therapist that you fantasize about him or her while being intimate with your mate.

I am the lone voice here of dissent. If a client came to me and said that they were having graphic, pornographic desires for me and that they are doing various things to themselves with those images in mind -- I would think: number one: I have done a terrible job as a therapist, and number two: I should probably refer the client out for ethical and legal reasons.

Now what could account for the vast difference between my opinion and the one of almost every therapist in the forum? I think the main factor is they are psychoanalytic/psychodynamic (PP) and I am not.

PP therapists work heavily with transference and countertransference -- meaning the client's reaction to the therapist and the therapist's reaction back. Countless hours are spent obsessively analyzing their relationship.

Putting aside whether that's helpful or not (I would say not usually), what is the impact of this intense transference? What could be the effect of the client being thrust into a regressed state of intense emotions toward the therapist, whether an "idealized transference," "an angry transference," or, in the case of many clients on this forum, a sexualized one?

A PP therapist would think it's great; it's getting into deep material that can be thoroughly analyzed over time (sometimes several times a week for decades). But to me, there is a dangerous element to this, what I call, "The Therapy Trance."

PP therapy often puts clients in a fantasy state where they see the therapist as the mother, the father, the lover, the best friend. But the client doesn't really know the therapist, who projects a supportive, focused, warm, attentive, unconditionally supportive, and all-knowing persona. But (sorry to tell you), therapists are not always like this in real life.

Thus, PP therapy can cause a type of trance-state. I liken it to the online platform, Second LIfe, where participants choose a better wife, an improved family, and much nicer friends. Some game members neglect their own family and hyper focus on the fantasy one. And therapy clients can do this as well.

It's the downside of PP therapy. If you are considering this type of therapy, be mindful of the transference. Your therapist will tell you that you're making great progress if you are in a state of rage towards the therapist, or sexually fantasizing, but I'm here to say that this might not be the case.