I've been having car trouble of late. I have an old Prius and there are issues with the battery. The AAA technicians have been to my home more than once to charge it up. They've given me the following advice: drive the car a lot more. Don't keep it idle. And avoid using the AC and the radio, which can drain the battery. Now you may be wondering why I'm writing about my car. This is a therapy blog, not a Toyota one. The reason is that my car trouble got me thinking: th

Lately, I've been looking at an online forum around therapy. In it, clients ask questions and therapists give advice. Frankly, I have found many of the posts to be troubling and, even more so, the therapists' advice.. Most of the questions are quite benign: someone asking what is CBT, or another inquiring how to find a therapist in a rural setting. But some of the posts are straight out of an X-rated movie, where the client is lusting after therapists who are as old as t

There is a local meditation teacher who has taught a class on joy for decades. I've never taken the class. But the results from the few people I know who took the class don't impress me. Now the people who completed the class were perfectly satisfied with it. I wouldn't say they were exactly joyous. But they seemed to think it was worth their time, although from my vantage point, I have to wonder. My sample is quite small: I only know three people who took the class. Bu

An acquaintance told me a very poignant story. It was about a friend of hers. The friend shared on Facebook that his beloved daughter had just died. She was hiking and fell down a steep ravine in a freak accident. His daughter died immediately. After disclosing this terrible news, he wrote, "Who knew that yesterday would be the last happy day of my life." This statement is so stirring. We all go about our days fulfilling the demands of daily life. We need to get to work

When we think of the term, ER, we imagine the Emergency Room. Hopefully, none of us need this. But there's another use of the initials, ER, and that means "emotional regulation." Most people could use some help with that. When we are emotionally regulated, we feel relaxed and content. Imagine yourself at a pretty beach, on a lovely day. You're lying in the sun, feeling the heat warm your body, while listening to the soothing sounds of the waves. You're happy and calm. Th

I was online the other day and happened upon an intriguing website. It predicts how old a person may live. Of course, no one can predict this with absolute accuracy. But they purport to give you a rough estimate. I decided to check it out so I answered the 20 questions or so. Most of them were predictable. For instance, they asked whether you are overweight; whether you ingest a lot of alcohol or marijuana; how well you sleep; and whether you have any significant medi

Nancy worked at a large financial company that was infamous for frequent lay-offs. Yet, Nancy was still there after 20 years. When people were laid off, she was like Teflon. Employees came and went, but Nancy remained. And, yet, she worked in a department vulnerable to lay-offs -- Marketing. What was Nancy's secret? I got to know her well, and, in this blog, I will share the secrets of her success. Some of them may be hard to execute. But, if you do so, you may have a

A while back, I read a book that blew me away, "The Stress of Life, " by Dr. Hans Selye. The author wrote about witnessing a dramatic increase in life stress, with all kinds of physical and emotional ramifications. You're probably wondering why this premise would be so jaw dropping. We all know that stress causes all of kinds of problems. And it's obvious that people have more stress than ever before. What shocked me was that the book was written in the l950s! This was a

A few years ago, I realized something important. There are people out there who are simply annoying -- and then there are others who are toxic. How do we know the difference? Annoying people are just -- well, annoying. They get on our nerves and under our skin. But, in general, these folks are harmless. And then there are the toxic ones, the people whom we should avoid like the plague, whenever possible. Let me give you a couple of examples of annoying versus toxic. Andre

I just came back from a performance that I didn't like. I disliked it so much that I walked out before it was over. I bumped into an...

Dr. Eleanor Stein, a psychiatrist with a lovely website at https://www.eleanorsteinmd.ca was kind enough to ask to interview me. The...

A while back, a close friend and colleague, Julie, did something that really hurt me. So I did what any therapist from Berkeley would do when she has issues with another Berkeley therapist: I talked to her about it. I was as gentle as possible and used the standard communication lingo: when you did this, it made me feel this way; I would have preferred, etc. etc. Her reaction shocked me. Instead of understanding, she became very angry. And Julie turned the tables on me

Years ago, psychologist Barbara Held wrote a book with an intriguing premise. It was that many Americans are unhappy because of the...

Imagine this. You go to see a new therapist, Amanda, whom you’ve only met once before. In her waiting room, you ingest some sort of...

Years ago I worked at an agency supervising new therapists. Part of my job was doing trainings for the staff. The trainings were...

There is a fascinating story from Greek mythology about King Midas. You have probably heard of him through the expression, “The Midas...

I sometimes make a suggestion to clients that they don't usually like. It is to reduce their intake of news. I don't suggest this for...

In the l960s, Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl developed a therapy of meaning, which he called, Logotherapy. The main premise? As long as...

Decades ago, there was a popular therapy called, Reality Therapy. The aim was what you’d expect: to help clients live in reality. The...

Sarah has complained about her boyfriend, Mark, for years. She's unhappy that he works so much. She wants more attention, more nights...