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  • Writer's pictureStacy Taylor, LCSW

What You Think of Me is None of My Business

I used to know a young woman, Michelle.  Michelle was very distressed when she was around her family. 


Her siblings were condescending towards her.  The youngest of four siblings,  Michelle was still seen as the silly kid sister.


After years of suffering from their condescension,  Michelle had an epiphany:  why does it matter how people perceive her, including her own family?  


She knows that she’s smart and capable.  So what if her family and some of her coworkers are patronizing?


Michelle also realized that she has no control over others’ reactions to her.   She can try to assert herself, as she’s done for years.  But at the end of the day, she is not responsible for changing them.


Michelle’s epiphany reminds me of a saying I heard a while back, "What you think of me is none of my business."


Yes, it’s easy to say.  But when someone treats us in a belittling or demeaning manner, it hurts.  It offends — and it should. But it’s important not to absorb the judgment, to internalize it and think less of ourselves.  


I try to remember Michelle’s story when people act condescending to me.  I will defend myself, my basic dignity.    But if it falls on deaf ears, I try to remember: "What you think of me is none of my business. " 

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