Do You Need ER?

When we think of the term, ER, we imagine the Emergency Room. Hopefully, none of us need this.

But there's another use of the initials, ER, and that means "emotional regulation." Most people could use some help with that.

When we are emotionally regulated, we feel relaxed and content. Imagine yourself at a pretty beach, on a lovely day. You're lying in the sun, feeling the heat warm your body, while listening to the soothing sounds of the waves. You're happy and calm. That's a good example of regulation.

And we don't have to be in Hawaii to feel emotionally regulated. When you're not dealing with toxic people or annoying stress, you might feel calm and emotionally regulated.

There's a term for the opposite of ER, which is ED (emotionally dysregulated). We all know how that feels: stressed, overwhelmed, emotional, maybe depressed.

Perhaps you had a difficult meeting with your boss, and your job is on the line. You're tense, worried, maybe angry. You're snapping at your partner or feeling like crying. That would be a good example of ED.

Life happens; there are times when we are going to feel regulated and when we won't. But it helps to be aware of the experience so we can fortify the regulation.

Try this: as you go through your day, notice when you feel ER, and, also, when you experience ED. When you're dysregulated, name it and see if you can do the things that calm you down.

Perhaps that's taking a break from what is stressing you . It might mean putting on some music you like or calling a friend. You can take a walk, read a book, or check out your favorite Youtube channel.

One thing that you don't want is to be in a chronic state of dysregulation. Notice if this is the case with you. The good news is that it's possible to offset this state. The first step is to be aware of it; and then do the things that are regulating.

Last, but not least, remember to BREATHE. When we are emotionally dysregulated, we tend to breathe shallowly, which only increases unpleasant feelings and sensations. Just sitting down and breathing may be the best way to emotionally regulate.